HELP.

I am desperate.  I am miserable.  HELP.

When I was pregnant with Bentley I was pretty uncomfortable at this point but this time around I have been super uncomfortable for wayyyyyyyyyy longer.  Also, with Baby B I was going into labor between today/tomorrow. 

I have had a feeling this entire pregnancy that this would be THE weekend.  My Dr. said typically first babies are the latest and that most likely I would go around the same time or a few days earlier than I did with Bentley.  Well, here we are at 38 weeks/1 day and I am not in labor.  That's not to say there haven't been signs of labor but every time I get my hopes up another day goes by with nothing.  I've been thinking based on how I feel things would go down between Thurs and Tues but now I'm feeling very discouraged.

With Bentley although I was uncomfortable because I was so fat, I really don't remember being this miserable until a couple of days before I went into labor.  This time it has been weeks of not feeling great, and particularly since last weekend I have been getting sick & been pretty crampy.  As of Friday the feeling crummy has gotten much much worse.  I've been puking all week as I said but I really haven't been able to keep much of anything down at all the last few days.  I have not been keeping up with my diabetes diet because I really haven't been able to eat much ~ so I figure I'm better of trying to keep down a granola bar or something than eating the shit diabetes food and being guaranteed to barf it up.  I am SO crampy and so much pressure.  On Friday I had contractions for about 4 hours and was in bed at 3:30...but they went away by about 7:30 and I was asleep by 8.  Yesterday I was in bed most of the day and had a few contractions in the evening and then was asleep by 8:30.  I was wide awake at 1:30 and finally came downstairs at 3:30 ~ I was starving because I hadn't been able to eat much of anything all day.  So I made some toast with jelly and watched Law & Order.  I was still nauseous but for some reason craving pasta so by 6AM I took a puke pill and made myself a bowl of pasta.  At 7AM I went to bed in the nursery.  I figured maybe that would help coax her out???  It must have been about 9 or so that the hub and Bentley found me unconscious in there.  They went out for a bit and I fell back asleep for awhile.  The rest of the day so far has been crying, puking, peeing, cramps, walking up and down the street/around the yard, and laying down.

I was really thinking for the last 9 months we would have an April babe, but I am definitely losing hope.  And it doesn't help when everyone asks..."so when is that baby coming"...do you think you'll go soon"...BLAH BLAH.  I don't have a crystal ball.  AND at this point I just want to rip her out.  Pleasant, I know.

And there's really nothing left for me to do around this joint.  Everything is packed and there's notes everywhere so we don't forget anything, the house is totally picked up, the cleaning lady was here on Friday.  I do my best to pick up after Bentley every day but at this point I can barely bend over.  The hub washed the Esco today so its nice and shiny for our trip to the hospital.  Hurley has been laying with me like a loyal buddy.  And that's about it.  I'm afraid to go much of anywhere because 1. I've been so sick, 2. I'm afraid of my water breaking, and 3. It's really hard to lug my little friend around at this point.  So I've been kind of house bound but at least its been sunny so we can go outside.

That's it til the next update, Drs on Tues...

~E